Update

So I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted an update. We have been on our huge holiday for the last 5 1/2 ish weeks and have been flat out busy!

So what’s new? A few things.

Scarlett has 4 teeth now. Her two front bottom teeth, the top right (middle), and her first top right molar! I don’t even know when the molar came through tonne honest, I just seen it there a few days ago and was shocked. I honestly thought they got their front teeth before their molars? 

We only have 5 days left of our holiday. We have all had an absolutely awesome time. 

I’m in love with Disneyland. I have also completely blown the budget. I put away $3000 spending money for the whole 6 and a bit weeks that we are away. I had already given my mum money for food and the holiday, so that $3000 was simply for spending.

Well, of course I got souvenirs for my family and friends. 

But Disney. Oh my god. 

So in Australia, you can’t actually buy genuine Disney stuff from their store. If you buy it online from somewhere else, usually postage is double of what the item is. So usually I buy the cheap Disney stuff from big w or Kmart. And usually it falls apart very quickly and he quality isn’t 100%.

So imagine me, walking into Disney and seeing the genuine Disney costumes and tiaras and ceptors and clothes.

I went a little overboard. Like…. I may have purchased every Disney princess costume, along with the matching tiara, gloves, handbag, and captor/wand, and a Minnie Mouse costume. I got them in various sizes (anywhere from 3-5) so hopefully they will last for some time. Scarlett is tall but skinny so if I have to, I can see extra layers (either at the hem or at the back to make them last a little longer). I also got myself 3 Disney tshirts and 2 sets of Disney ears. I really wanted to buy this Ariel mug but I wasn’t sure how it would go on the flight home, so I didn’t risk it.

I also got Scarlett an Ariel bubble wand, some Disney tshirts, 3 costumes in 18 month sizes (one Elsa, and 2 Minnie Mouse costumes) for upcoming parties and for her to wear at Disney. I got her some super cute Disney party dresses. And some clothes for when she’s older.

And guys. Why has no one ever told me about Macy’s?

IT IS SO CHEAP!! I went there the other day and you know how many super cute perry dresses I got? 8. And you know for how much I got them for? $153.59. 

WHAT?! I would pay that for 1 dress in Australia!! And they are gorgeous! Such good quality and absolutely beautiful! I got Scarlett Christmas dress and everything.

The moral of this story? I may have spent a lot more than what I wanted. But now I’m in Hawaii and I’m told shopping is also very cheap here… so I’ll have to be careful 😄

In terms of me. I’m all ready to start my FET cycle as soon as I get back. I am stopping the pill the day before we leave (4 days)… or maybe even 2 days before I leave. The problem is, I was going to wait until the day before so I wouldn’t have my period for the 12 hour flight home. But for the last 3-5 days (on and off) I’ve had spotting. Technically, I was supposed to stop the pill today. So I’m only stretching it for 3-4 days, but it’s like my body knows. I mean, it obviously does. I just hope it doesn’t stuff up this cycle!

Anyway, I start the medications on day 3. I am supposed to get an ultrasound between day 5-7. Then another between day 13-15. Then either a transfer after that, or continue on the Meds for another few days to grow the lining more.

I’ve never had a problem with the lining before, so I’m hoping the sooner the better, but I also don’t want to rush it. Scarlett (and this embryo) was conceived on October 22nd. If everything works out, this embryo should be transferred about 2 and a bit weeks after Scarlett was transferred. I sort of like the idea of them being born close together in the year. 

We can celebrate birthdays together (since Scarlett was born exactly 20 days after my birthday), and maybe do like, events? What I mean by that is, I could take them to Disney on ice for their birthday or we could take a family holiday for a week or two for their birthdays. Maybe go up to Queensland and do the theme parks or something?

I’m still undecided about what I think about joint parties, but if I’m into the idea and they are okay sharing, we could also do one big party every year rather than two more conservative ones.

Anyway, I am excited to start. I’m also a little scared. I keep thinking about all the possibilities and it scares me.

I think about having a second and all the great things about having a baby. I would love love love Scarlett to have a sibling. But then I scare myself… what if it doesn’t work? I could only afford the FET and one fresh cycle. If they both didn’t work… what would I do?

I mean, one child would not be a bad thing. I would still consider myself so lucky and blessed to have my perfect Scarlett. But once the idea of having two is in your head, it’s hard to then change your mindset to only having one baby.

My mum is convinced it will work and she’s sure it will be a girl. I have no idea at this point and don’t want to get ahead of myself.

Im also scared of getting PPD again. With one baby, it was okay, I could seperate myself for an hour and that was fine, but with two, both will need and want my attention. I’m worried about how I will handle it, but at the same time, I feel more prepared.

One of the biggest feelings I had when I was in the midst of PPD was the feeling of doom; that there was no way out and that I made a huge mistake. I didn’t think I would sleep ever again. I didn’t think I’d get some independent moments for resting or relaxing. I didn’t think Scarlett would ever let me put her down. I didn’t think she would ever be happy and would always be upset and crying.

But now I know that none of that is true because I’ve been through it. I’m hoping that I won’t get PPD again because I have more experience now. I know the hard parts are just a phase and they will pass. And this parenting gig gets better. It gets really fucking good. Scarlett is 14 months old and she’s so much better. She used to be grumpy 90% of the time and had such a bad temper. But most of that seems to have sorted itself out. She still has a temper, but now she is happy 99% of the time and an absolute pleasure to be around.

I love watching her grow and flourish. I love watching her discover things she loves. She loves cars. Any machine that moves she points to and says ‘broom broom!’. She loves music and dances all the time. She loves soft blankets.

It’s these things that I’m hoping will help me stay out of that depressive bubble.

Anywho, I’m off to the beach! Here’s a few photos 😊