I want another

So I’ll start with a small update. 

Scarlett has turned 4 months but I have been so busy that I haven’t had time to write a post about it. That will come within the next few days.

I start back at work in two days. I’m dreading it, getting super anxious over it, and simply just don’t want to go back. It’s not that I’m dreading the work or the people, it’s just the change. When you haven’t worked for 6 months, then to go back, it’s a big change!

To be fair, I’m lucky that my work are letting me ease into things. My boss has three children of her own so she knows how heart wrenching this can be- which is why she is letting me do 1 day a week for a few weeks, then 3 days a week permanently.

On a different note, lately, I’ve been in a really good headspace. I’m becoming more and more confident with this mothering gig. I feel empowered that I am doing this as a single parent (and we can’t forget my mum 😄) and seem to be raising a happy child.

Problem is, now I want another one.

Yes, baby fever has started already. How the hell did that happen? I still have a baby. It’s not like she is a toddler or older child. She is a baby still, and I’m already wanting #2. Am I crazy? Probably!

I think it’s so strange to want another so soon. What’s even more weird- if you had of asked me two months ago if I was ever going to have another child, this would have been my reaction.

1.)

   
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Like, seriously. I would have flat out said ‘no way. I will never do this again’. You couldn’t have paid me enough money to do it all again. But yet, here I am sitting here thinking about Scarlett having a sibling and playing together and having two children and it gives me tingles. In such a good way. 

Obviously I’m not going to call the fertility clinic tomorrow and tell them that I’m going to transfer the other embryo in the freezer. The doctor and physio said I needed to wait at least a year to get pregnant so my injuries from childbirth can heal. Plus, next year I am going on a holiday to Canada and America for two months in September/October so I can’t get pregnant now. If I wanted another, I would have to wait until I came back from the holiday.

It does worry me about my PPD though. Will I go through it again? Will it be worse because there will be two children to look after? All these things I’ll have to research and talk to the doctor about before I do ANYTHING in regards to becoming pregnant again.

Also! That Facebook profile that was using Scarlett’s picture as the profile picture, I found out who it was. After I reported it several times for varying things, and then doing nothing about it, I reported the profile for copyright. Well, Facebook apparently takes that very seriously, because the next day my auntie rang me and told me that my cousin was in tears thinking she was going to jail.

My cousin (by marriage- my aunties husbands daughter) has an intellectual disability and thought that she would make a fake profile on Facebook that she could hide from her mum. My auntie is very strict about checking her Facebook to make sure she isn’t doing inappropriate things, so she wanted one that wasn’t monitored. She didn’t know which picture to use so she decided to use one of Scarlett, thinking she wouldn’t get caught that way.

Then the poor girl got a notification saying that legal action will be taken against her if she doesn’t remove the picture blah blah blah. 

Anyway, it was her. So at least I know now!

Talk soon! X

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